|
| I received an email from a patient's wife thanking all the staff members in A & E for being so wonderful to her husband ( whom I treated). Although it did say " The care process was faultless, except that we possibly breached, because of the delay in the doctor seeing my husband." Pah. At least it's not a complaint letter ( which I have also received ).
| | |
| About the only thing that keeps me going is Mafia wars. Which is also about the only thing that keeps me on facebook. I've tried going the cold turkey before ( before the exams) and only came back on to post photos and play mafia wars. ( Damn you Canon! You got me hooked!) Its like a drug, and I have to keep doing jobs and fighting people to get enough experience points to get to the next level. But its a pretty much pointless exercise. Hanwen gives me Energy packs, I give Hanwen concealable cameras ( and all that shit I don't use).
And so it is with life. Job after another job. And then you buy things to boost your stats and inventories. You invest in businesses and properties. You rank and promote your friends in your inner social mafia circle and do things for others so others will do things for you. You get the occasional piss-off when someone robs your properties - which leads to revenge-seeking behaviour in trying to kill aforementioned offender. Which also makes Mafia Wars much more interesting.
Therefore what I think I need in this reality - is an arch enemy to make my life much more a hell ( so I can then make his/her life much more a hell). I live for vengeance. Or a good buddy with whom to explore the shitty streets of this shitty town, which is probably more difficult than finding a good arch-enemy ( but one with self-control who won't just smash my head in with a cricket bat.)
So I've just got home from work. I've eaten nothing but black glutinous rice today ( aww chu bee) Because it's bloody easy to make and tastier than rice ( when you add loads of sugar.) But I'm not hungry. Should stop buying food because it's all just rotting in the fridge.
I'm just considering the options. Drugs? Alcohol? A shitty non-constructive and psychological damaging relationship? What will keep me going? ( Probably the fact that I need to fund my sister, and then subsequently if I do buy some property, the need to pay off the mortage. And the weeks will turn into months and into years. But I don't want to live that long - If life is going to be entirely made out of what I'm going through now. Sucks. So. Much.
Thanks Olivia for your emails. It's nice to know that you care, but I've lost any form of motivation.
| | |
| Discussion with Ken Lee over MSN
Ken Lee says:
you're damn bored is it ?
Wei Li says:
Wei Li says:
i have no freinds remember
Ken Lee says:
so sad ?
Wei Li says:
Wei Li says:
i'm sad
Wei Li says:
Wei Li says:
boo hoo hoos
Ken Lee says:
poor thing
Ken Lee says:
pick up some sport
Wei Li says:
Ken Lee says:
i try to go swimming after work
Wei Li says:
the nearest pool here is 18 m long
Wei Li says:
18 metres
Wei Li says:
wah lau
Wei Li says:
what kind of swim is that
Wei Li says:
i might as well do 500 laps in my bathtub
Ken Lee says:
18 m is not too bad
Ken Lee says:
i'm really enjoying swimming now
Ken Lee says:
i think its the answer to my seasonal affective disorder
Wei Li says:
really
Wei Li says:
you hae seasonal affective disorder?
Ken Lee says:
yeah ... i think i need to counter the sadness with exercise
Wei Li says:
poor thing
Wei Li says:
why you sad?
Ken Lee says:
yeah .. i got pretty down last winter
Wei Li says:
i'm going to set up a club
Wei Li says:
for sad people
Ken Lee says:
its a disorder ... must there be another reason ?
Wei Li says:
on facebook
Wei Li says:
ha
Wei Li says:
you can join my sad person's club
Ken Lee says:
no thank you
Wei Li says:
eh
Wei Li says:
come on
Wei Li says:
it'll be fun
Ken Lee says:
so what are abunch of sad people going to do ?
Wei Li says:
be sad together?
Wei Li says:
committ mass suicide?
Ken Lee says:
you show me how its done first
Wei Li says:
what?
Wei Li says:
you can't commit mass suicide
Wei Li says:
without there being more than 10 people
Ken Lee says:
really ?
Wei Li says:
yes
Wei Li says:
that's the rules
Ken Lee says:
is that the minimum requirement ?
Wei Li says:
yeah, I think so.
Wei Li says:
10 people
Wei Li says:
so we have to find 10 people
Wei Li says:
for our sad club
Wei Li says:
it'll be the elite sad club
Wei Li says:
i shall call it
Ken Lee says:
so says the mass suicide society of UK is it ? ... who sadly have 0 members, at the last count
Wei Li says:
they're a very efficient mass suicide society
Ken Lee says:
i see
Wei Li says:
shit la
Wei Li says:
this is so damn sad
Ken Lee says:
tell me about it
Ken Lee says:
you want to listen to sad music ?
Wei Li says:
no
Wei Li says:
i have plenty
Wei Li says:
ha
Ken Lee says:
joy division is perfect to kill yourself to ... i recommend it
Wei Li says:
no
Wei Li says:
so why you sad now?
Wei Li says:
it's not winter yet
Ken Lee says:
i'm not that sad yet
Ken Lee says:
i have a contingency plan
Wei Li says:
wha'ts that?
Ken Lee says:
i'll go to the gym ... swim ... get a natural high, counter the sadness and then get tired for a good nights rest
Wei Li says:
that's not a natural high
Ken Lee says:
by spring i'll be fit as a fiddle
Wei Li says:
its psychosomatic
Ken Lee says:
it is ... endorphins and adrenaline
Wei Li says:
so you're using your sadness constructively
Ken Lee says:
yes
Ken Lee says:
well, thats the plan at least
Wei Li says:
very good
Wei Li says:
tell me if it works
Ken Lee says:
i will
Wei Li says:
you not fit as a fiddle now?
Ken Lee says:
not really ... i'm finding it easier to swim now
Wei Li says:
i wanna swim
Wei Li says:
but its too cold
Ken Lee says:
just need to add the laps and swim longer
Wei Li says:
and only 18 metres
Wei Li says:
that's damn sad
Wei Li says:
i'll have to swim 400 laps
Wei Li says:
to be fit
Ken Lee says:
i'm sure its indoor right ?
Ken Lee says:
mine is 25 m and its just nice
Wei Li says:
that's because you're short
Ken Lee says:
very funny
Ken Lee says:
its long enough to feel like a swim
Wei Li says:
ha
Wei Li says:
Wei Li says:
okay
Ken Lee says:
i have come to the conclusion that 70s is the peak of invention, creativity, artistry and achievement in rock
Wei Li says:
very good
Wei Li says:
im pleased at your enlightenment
Ken Lee says:
everything after that pales in comparison
Ken Lee says:
makes your emo-rock look like baby-play
Wei Li says:
eh
Wei Li says:
join
Wei Li says:
facebook
Wei Li says:
join my sad club
Ken Lee says:
i just joined
Wei Li says:
cool
Wei Li says:
ken decided to change the name
Wei Li says:
to the elite sadists
Wei Li says:
which is a totally different meaning
Ken Lee says:
i know
Ken Lee says:
rather be a sadist then be sad though
Wei Li says:
no
Wei Li says:
that's worse
Wei Li says:
a sadist
Wei Li says:
means that you're happy you're sad
Ken Lee says:
no ... i thought they like pain
Wei Li says:
no
Wei Li says:
thats a masochist
Ken Lee says:
then a sadist likes to inflict pain right ?
Wei Li says:
er, yes?
Ken Lee says:
anyway ... all this sad talk must end
Ken Lee says:
i gotta go shower
Ken Lee says:
chat to ya another time
Ken Lee says:
ciao
| | |
| Croatia was nice- after a while it got boring and hot. I recommend people to go - except during peak tourist season where I spent about 1000 pounds over the course of 6 days. This calls for an ultra cheapo holiday the next time I go travelling in november in Morocco hopefully where I will subsist on less than 100 pounds ( not counting the air tickets). I heard Priscilla lived on tea and free oranges whilst she was there.
In other news, I'm starting to like London. Everyday I live here in this town I work in, I stand a high chance of getting stabbed or hit by a baseball bat. Everyday I see some poor sod who's been assaulted. Yesterday some dude got battered by his neighbour after asking them to be quiet cos it was late at night. Today some dude said that he had been assaulted in a train carriage and butt-raped. Of course 50% of all patients here also have mental health issues, and thus one has to take everything with a pinch of salt. In both cases ( both guys about my age ) - immediately started crying like babies once their mothers came into the room.
Today, I had a chat with my colleague who's living in hospital accomodation about going and joining a gym. Said I " Well, I don't think I wanna go jogging for fear that someone might randomly come up and stab me. Although it would also mean that I would be running very fast."
Which brings me to the next topic - mace. I wanna get a can of mace ( industrial bear strength). Also would like to equip my car with sensors and flamethrowers ( like them cars in south africa) Anyone who tries breaking off my side mirrors or attempts egg throwing at my windscreens will be automatically incinerated.
I'm off to sleep now.
| | |
|
